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Re: I don't understand what I'm feeling onceupon

Posted by Daisym on April 29, 2010, at 23:23:29

In reply to Re: I don't understand what I'm feeling Daisym, posted by onceupon on April 29, 2010, at 21:30:37

In my group, we just talked a little bit about false selves. I feel a growing intolerance with my own - like I can't stand being fake anymore. I worry that this will make me blurt things I shouldn't.

What you said about sharing favorable impressions with your therapist is something I say occasionally. I will tell him that he wouldn't recognize me out in the work setting. He says he sees the good things and he can see how competent I am. Last week, when I was going away to present at a conference he talked about my "gifts" and how great it was that I could share them with the world. It was nice to hear but embarrassing too.

And maybe you are right about the contrast. Feels like a tapastry woven with so many bad things but with bright spots and unusual colors in places. The more I talked, the more that bright "false-self" emerged. Maybe I'm sad because of his perceived need for me to have had positive and fun experiences. If he makes me concentrate on those, then he becomes like everyone else, right? And shouldn't I want to concentrate on the positives? Otherwise, I'm getting off on just wallowing.

I wish it was easier for both of us.




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