Posted by BabyToes on April 3, 2010, at 21:29:29
Hello, don't know if anyone remembers me.
The latest is that I am continuing with my APA complaint against my first T. I am turning in the paperwork in a week. This should get the ball rolling. (or his head)
I am no longer depressed and have been doing a lot of trauma therapy. I have made a lot of progress for my symptoms of PTSD. I have been with my new T for over a year and she has been awesome. I am getting to know my anger and what triggers it.
I am back in college and making good progress back on the dean's list. I am taking more creative classes instead of psychology. I just got published in three different areas all at once. Nonfiction, poetry and art. The publication is coming out in a couple of weeks and I am so excited. I also won first place for my non fiction in a contest judged by a very well known poet.
EMDR has opened up the trauma part of my past and it is much more extensive than I ever knew. But a positive part is that it has released surges of creativity. I have not been trained at all in art, but my recent paintings are being published. I guess it has opened up a talent I have never knew I had. It is a yearning it seems.
I still want to be a T, perhaps a trauma T specifically, once I am through my desensitization. My T believes I will be a natural at it, I understand it, I have gone through it and want to help others who are going through it. She say I am very intuitive and can read people very well. Too well sometimes, even with my own T. haha! So many people don't really understand PTSD or me when I am triggered.
Some who don't know me, wants to put labels on me like borderline but my T and all my T's before that says I do not have enough of the signs of that to dx it. I lead a pretty normal life and only have problems arise when I am triggered from the past. But those triggers are becoming less and less since they are being desensitized in therapy. I know my emotions now and can spot triggers before I react to them sometimes. There will always be things that anger me, but I am learning to not react to those things. If you were never allowed to show emotions growing up, you certainly don't learn how to control them, especially anger and frustration. My T has helped me a lot in this area. Sometimes I mess up but I am still learning. I have hope that I can overcome PTSD and not be triggered from the past. Life is good. So with the right T, it is possible to heal.
I still will fight against abuse of people and animals and help prevent abuse from starting in the first place. That is who I am, it is a cause that is personal to me and that I believe in.
I won't be around her much as I am really busy in my classes and non profit stuff I am doing. I was here once, not always in the best of circumstances, but I am thankful for this place and the people who pointed out what my therapist was doing was unethical. I am glad I fired him before things progressed.