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Re: My therapist said no Nadezda

Posted by Dinah on July 28, 2009, at 17:41:27

In reply to Re: My therapist said no, posted by Nadezda on July 28, 2009, at 16:50:01

Do you really not feel bad about yourself?

It's all very unfortunate, in that the more upset I get, and the more emotional I get, the flatter and softer my voice gets, and the more likely he is to feel sleepy. He also used the word breathy, but I told him he can't use that word about my voice anymore.

In general I suppose I know that it's always the therapist's responsibility to stay awake. And in particular, he'll admit (and I knew already) that he stays up too late, works too long, etc. He does his clients a disservice by trying to do too much. It seems to me that he is always afraid that his income sources will dry up and he needs to take grab work while he can. That is totally my interpretation, and nothing he's ever said or done.

But I also feel responsible. We've seen each other for so very long, and it's bound to get boring to him since he's not emotionally engaged the way I am. He swears he is emotionally engaged, and I believe him. But it can't possibly be as much as it is on my side. I feel some urge to present material that will engage his interest enough for him to stay awake.

It's something I just accept about him, and would probably continue to accept (and will continue to accept no doubt). But it seemed like the other office might be a solution, and that appealed so much that the status quo seemed intolerable. When I lose hope again, I'll go back to accepting it.

I was impertinent enough to ask him if he's talked to his sleep doctor about his excessive daytime sleepiness, and he admitted that he hadn't seen him for a while. I told him how helpful Provigil has been to me. Perhaps he'll be inclined to get a checkup.




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