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Re: Therapist retired a year ago and still grieving

Posted by pegasus on July 15, 2009, at 11:06:34

In reply to Therapist retired a year ago and still grieving, posted by friesandcoke on July 13, 2009, at 22:52:03

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Of course you're still grieving a year later. It was a big relationship in your life.

I lost my T to a move around 5 years ago, and I still miss him quite poignantly at times. I grieved deeply for . . . oh, I'd say around three years or so. It does get easier to go through life without them. But it's always going to be a loss. Especially when you have not been able to complete the work you were doing.

I also tried to work with a T that my old T recommended. Even without the boundary crossing that you report, I had trouble with it. I found myself just being generally pissed off at her all the time for not being him. She wanted to talk about my relationship with her, which infuriated me. I wanted to talk about my relationship with *him*. I didn't want to even have a relationship with *her*. So, the whole thing was probably doomed from the beginning.

I think it can take some time to be ready to really work with someone else again. And that's OK. The one thing that she did help me with was just having some place to express my grief. No one in the rest of my life understood or accepted it. It's especially hard to grieve when you can't share your grief with anyone, which pretty much describes most lost-of-T grief.

But this is a good place for it. People here understand. Thank goodness for babble.





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