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Re: My therapist fired me-long but PLEASE HELP!

Posted by pegasus on July 6, 2009, at 10:58:58

In reply to My therapist fired me-long but PLEASE HELP!, posted by Kim on July 6, 2009, at 1:44:02

Hi Kim,

First of all, I want to let you know that it totally makes sense to me that you would be very upset. I would be too, after 10 years. And also, I agree with Dinah in that it doesn't sound to me like he's trying to fire you. What it sounds like to me is that there was probably a major misunderstanding somewhere, in addition to some poor handling of the situation. That is not at all the same thing as him wanting you to quit, or wanting to fire you, or even really thinking that you are done.

It seems like it might be helpful to keep in mind that there are lots of links in this communication chain: from you to your husband to the secretary to your doctor then probably to the secretary and back to you in the form of that letter. Also, I wanted to give you one possible alternative explanation that I can think of: I do know some therapists (especially in group practices where they have a secretary or other staff) that follow certain protocols that can seem insensitive. Maybe this letter that you received is some kind of form letter they send to anyone who doesn't schedule new appointments? I definitely have heard of Ts having a policy of not calling clients who cancel, because it can be seen as pressuring if Ts call clients about rescheduling. And pressuring clients is a no no. And I also have heard of Ts who always try to have some kind of resolution for clients who "disappear", if only to have a clear record in their files of their status with respect to that client. Put those two together, and I can imagine someone who is not very sensitive (or has never been a client) coming up with a protocol that would involve sending out the letter you received.

So, maybe your T didn't write it specifically for you, and just signed what his secretary prepared for him, following some ill-considered protocol? It's still not a good way to do business, and not very sensitive. But at least it might not be quite such personal a slap in your face?

Even if this scenario isn't accurate, I really do hope that you decide to talk to your T about it. At this point you just don't know what he was thinking, and trying to figure it out is clearly very painful for you. If you talk to him, you'll at least narrow down the possible explanations that you need to consider. And then, we hear over and over on this board from people who have had major breaks in their relationships with Ts for various reasons, and then sometimes come out of the situation with a stronger relationship than ever after thoroughly working through what happened. I really hope for you that that is where this ends up.





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