Posted by Daisym on June 25, 2009, at 0:09:23
In reply to Re: trauma and healing » seldomseen, posted by deerock on June 24, 2009, at 20:42:19
I think sometimes we all think we should be working towards NO unhappiness, NO sad memories, NO anxiety, NO bad dreams, etc. But that is an impossible goal - we are all human and live amongst other humans who hurt us - intentionally or unintentionally. And we can't undo the past.
But I do think we can still feel happiness with the sadness. We can appreciate peace and beauty when it comes into our lives. We can feel things acutely - especially with and for another. And as we heal - which is a slow, slow process for some of us, we are open to more and more possibilities - good things, not all bad. I think we get wise(er?) about expending energy on the "shoulds and shouldn'ts" and instead focus on acceptance of things in the moment.
I like the concept of radical acceptance. I also like what my therapist preaches - adjust and readjust. When you figure out a trigger, you adjust things to either avoid it or deal with it. And then you find another, and readjust again.
I guess I'm saying you can heal but not erase.