Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2009, at 7:18:16
In reply to Re: I fired my t, posted by alexandra_k on June 19, 2009, at 0:07:05
That sounds like an awful lot to lose. Believe me, I understand how important therapists can be, but frankly your therapist is not worth doing something extreme over. Neither is mine. I don't mean it as an insult to him. But you are just too valuable and special yourself.
I could be wrong, but nothing you've said about your therapist when you were first seeing him, or while you were away, or now, leads me to believe that he doesn't wish to see you because of how inconsolable you might be, or because he finds you unappealing as a client. It sounds more as if he is a bit rigid. If he's at a clinic, that is perhaps not his fault. If he's in private practice, I admit I do not understand why he didn't hold himself accountable for the errors in scheduling that took up a time slot he had promised to you and intended for you. My therapist would have met me at some other time in his own time, because he would have seen that this was his error. It wouldn't have been a boundary bending, so much as a correction of something he didn't mean to happen.
I remember how much you liked this therapist, and I hope that the two of you find a way to get to know each other again in person. Being away for so long makes it hard to connect again for anyone. And major issues are best decided face to face after seeing each other for a while. Misunderstandings are only too likely in email or even on the phone.
But if you discover he isn't open to doing this, I hope you realize it likely isn't anything about you that is the reason. It's more likely a rigidity in a possibly overworked therapist who feels the need to hold firm on things like office hours.
You discovered while you were here that you have the ability to find another therapist in difficult situations. And that there are other therapists you can get along with.
In the meantime, is it possible to get a prescription for something that can help you at this time? I've asked my therapist that if he ever terminates, could he have men ready to take me to the hospital and until I've been on high dose risperdal for a few days. I am serious about that.