Posted by Dinah on May 15, 2009, at 19:26:20
In reply to Re: Is this the end of therapy? Long » mollieQ, posted by Daisym on May 15, 2009, at 1:14:24
> I tried to tell him that I realize that he will be open to continuing therapy as long as I want to, but I can't see allowing myself this. If I feel better and am doing well, how can I justify taking up a spot that someone else needs? I barely feel "entitled" to all this angst now -- to which my therapist responds, "wow, I hear your mother loud and clear here."
I know I'm somewhat biased, but I think that your spot is your spot. If someone needs your therapist, they can get their own spot. You don't use all of him up. Although admittedly we probably don't like to dwell overmuch on that.
I really really really believe that those kind of thoughts could scare your younger self silly. To feel deep down that you are entitled to see your therapist not only when you're a wreck, but when you're doing better as well, sends a much more positive message to the primitive parts of ourselves.
I find that if I tell my emotional self, overtly or covertly, that I will only "listen" to her when she is screaming then she will definitely scream. I try to send the message that those needs are always important. And they are. Kids need to be able to show the picture they drew to "mom" as well as go to mom when they have a cut on their knee.
You deserve your spot, you deserve your therapist, as long as you need him and as long as he helps with your overall functioning. You don't have to assess yourself to see if you qualify for his services.
It's ok to ask your therapist to listen to whatever you need to tell him. But I think it's also ok to tell yourself that it's ok to need him even when you're feeling ok.
And admittedly this does show my bias. But it also shows my hard won experience.
poster:Dinah
thread:895460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/895978.html