Posted by Reggie BoStar on April 8, 2009, at 21:32:39
Hi Everyone,
Even though I've posted many times in these forums, I've never asked a question quite like this one before.I hope I'm not violating any guidelines with respect to postings on the topic of suicide. If I am doing something wrong, please let me know and accept my profuse apologies.
On two occasions, once in the family many years ago and once very recently, I've been told by a suicide survivor that he/she feels the suicide was an act of revenge.
(Obviously by "suicide survivor" I mean a close relative or friend of a suicide victim, not the survivor of a suicide attempt that failed).
This seems wrongheaded to me, enough so that I get really upset when this person talks like this.
But then I don't know much about why different people commit suicide. I know that in my own case the rehearsals were preceded by many years of painful depression and alcoholism. However it was all about me - certainly not an attempt to punish someone else by killing myself.
What's the verdict on this? I can't find any concise explanations on the web. That's not to say there aren't any of course. I just can't find them.
Do the pdocs these days feel that suicide can be an act of revenge? If not, what should be said (if anything) to the survivor when he/she makes these claims?
I figure I'll settle with just telling the person that such comments are very disturbing to me and I would rather not hear them. I'll try to leave it at that.
That would take care of me. But what about the suicide survivor? Would it be OK to just tell the person about a website that deals with suicide survival? Those sites often have online support groups and contacts for local meetups of survivors. Should I suggest that this person at least look at such information?
Once again I apologize if this type of discussion about suicide is inappropriate here. I certainly don't want to upset anyone.
Thanks to all for your time (and hello PhillipA if you're reading this!!!)
Reggie BoStar
poster:Reggie BoStar
thread:889571
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/889571.html