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Re: Tomorrow is coming too fast!! yikes! » fayeroe

Posted by fleeting flutterby on April 2, 2009, at 17:59:43

In reply to Re: Tomorrow is coming too fast!! yikes!, posted by fayeroe on April 1, 2009, at 21:50:32

> Sweetheart, you need to go to the T. Suck it up and go.You need to see her.<<

flutterby:--- You were so right- I did need to go I just didn't see it.

> Standing on the shore hoping the boat will come back probably won't work. :=-) I know how hard it is for you to ask for help but if you will talk to your T about that feeling, I bet she will understand...<<


flutterby:-- Yes, I talked and she did understand... because I was treated as such a burden... punished when ill or injured and yelled at if I made any mistake.... I was so scared to ask for help... terrified is more like.

>
> Your T is your safe place TO cry. And, M, if she does learn what makes you cry, what is wrong with that? I know, I know.....but please trust her and work with her.<<

flutterby:--- yea, it's taking a chance for me for sure.


>>I feel like it would be a very good thing for you to just take all of your emotional clutter/***t and dump it on the floor of her office and then try to work through what you can get to in a session.<<

flutterby:-- You know how nice that sounds.... I'm just not used to leaning.... I'm used to being the strong one -- the one everyone else comes to. though, lately-- it feels as if I will fall flat on my face if anyone at all leans on me. I don't think I've ever felt so depleted. :o(


> Woman! A T won't tell you to call her in two days unless she wants you to call! I understand that it is extremely difficult for you to trust anyone but you T is different. She has the parts and the glue to help put your "stuff" together....let her help, please......<<

flutterby:-- OK, OK-- you have a great way with words! I see exactly what you mean... she does have the parts and the glue, doesn't she. I never thought of it that way.



> I know that you don't speak up or ever ask for anything for yourself.That is why you keep getting the short end of the stick. You are a wonderful courageous woman and you need to get going and grab some grace and peace...your T will help you do that.<<

flutterby:--- You know, I truly used to think that if I was just nicer and nicer things would come to me.... Hah! I just recently told my husband that so many people have taken advantage of my niceness... then I told him.... that "bird" is about ready to fly!!



> Okay.......here I go! "Request" is where you lost me when you talk about your husband's drinking. If the word request worked all of the bars in Texas and New Mexico would dry up and blow away...liquor stores too!<<

flutterby:-- OH YES-- you are so funny and so right on! You see, I'm just learning how to be assertive and I realize now that "request" is not a very forceful word.... I'm still a work in progress. ;o)



>

> we don't have to make things better for our parents. that isn't our job. I certainly can understand and appreciate the fact that not all parents are hard to "help" and things go swimmingly for some families. (Those families are on t.v.) :-)

----flutterby:-- yea, TV families sure mess up our expectations!


>
> How about saying "mom/mother/mama/heyyou, I would love to help you work that one out but I am just so tired/pissed/hungry that I don't have time today. Try to quit giving her your power. Remember I did that for 35 years and look what it got me.....<<

flutterby:--- I hadn't thought of it that way-- I'm giving her my power.... that is what's happening... yea, I must notice this and stop it.


>>Let the ole boyfriend take up the slack. You sure don't want two of them to raise!!!
>
>
flutterby:--- that's for sure!!


> You can always visit me. :-)
> >

flutterby:--- Cool! I'd like that some day. :o)


> And I guess the lawyers and court dates have to do with something that they should not have been doing? Been there, done that. Are they living at home now? This is beginning to feel like a really big "dogpile" now...<<

flutterby:-- I'd rather not say here on the forum, but yea... one big dogpile. :o(
> >


> > sometimes I wonder if this therapy stuff is even good for people...... is it really worth the anxiety..... does it really help.....
>
> If we work on it and pull back up after becoming winded and tired...it is worth it. It is an individual thing, you know.<<

flutterby:-- yes, I guess you're right.


> Mandygirl, I hope that you will let me know how things are going and not get too exasperated with me over being me.....:-) xoxoxo pat

flutterby:-- I'm never exasperated with you! :o)
thank you ever so much for all your time, support and caring.

 

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