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Re: First 3 words in a session?

Posted by vwoolf on March 30, 2009, at 14:11:08

In reply to First 3 words in a session?, posted by Kenya on March 30, 2009, at 11:34:00

For some strange reason, I usually go to therapy with a clear agenda but when I get there it seems unimportant, I feel a HUGE resistance to talking about the things that feel really important.

We have both discovered that if I can get her to talk about something in her life, i.e. disclose something, it is easier for me to work my way into talking about the things that are important to me. It is easier to trust her.

But then my t is prepared to do that. Not all are, and my t is not alwys prepared to do that. Nor am I always prepared to give her the space.

Otherwise, I find it is best if I fall silent, feel about inside myself to where my resistances are, then force myself to start talking about that - what I don't want to say, why I don't want to say it.

It is very hard.

But over the years I have found it the most fruitful way to proceed, to push against what comes most naturally. If something feels too comfortable, if I begin to feel strong, then I know I am repeating old patterns and it is not going to be helpful.

Uncertainty is usually the best way to go.

But it is also the hardest.

I hope you find the courage to stay with the uncertainty. It has worked for me, and I am now in the termination phase of therapy.

And that is hard too. Perhaps the hardest thing of all.

 

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poster:vwoolf thread:887725
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/887756.html