Posted by lucie lu on February 22, 2009, at 17:55:36
In reply to Feeling better = quitting therapy., posted by workinprogress on February 21, 2009, at 23:52:35
WIP,
You sound like you are feeling pretty discouraged :(
I don't know about light at the end of the tunnel, but you sure have a lot of company there.
One thing that makes therapy hard is that it's not a linear process. Wouldn't it be nice if we could take the gains that we make in therapy, as we make them, and put them in the bank? Then when we feel discouraged, we could whip out the old bank account and admire how our balance has grown. But with therapy, it often seems like all we really get is our account balance at the end. That leaves us wondering, in all that middle time, how we are doing and whether we are making any headway at all.
I think that it may be those times that we most feel like something that has crept out from under a rock, that we are really growing the most. But we probably cannot tell that just from looking at ourselves. I think that when begin to even consider shedding some of our unhelpful defenses and behavior patterns, our sense of self may feel unstable. Without our tightly constructed defenses, which we have had for many years, we feel naked in ways that we never did before. We feel not only naked but, um, downright unpretty (to ourselves). But that's why we went into therapy in the first place, to make major changes in ourselves.
Maybe therapy is like plastic surgery. You go in because there are things you really want to change. You have the surgery and look like holy hell for a while until the healing is complete. And then you have what you came for, and you look great.
So hang in there. You're doing a good job. I'm sure you will be feeling better about everything again soon.
Take care,
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:881621
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/881727.html