Posted by Recently on February 21, 2009, at 14:12:39
In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by wittgensteinz on February 21, 2009, at 4:46:52
> It's hard to be so alone with something so big.
> My SO knows everything. I make sure my parents know as little as possible. They don't know I'm in therapy, taking meds, attempted suicide a second time (they did know about the first time because I was a student in my home-country at the time, so, to my dismay, they were contacted). I've had to think about the possibility that if I would die from this, they would then obviously find out some of the truth and I know they would give my SO hell.
> Given how intrusive and controlling my mother is, it's in my best interests they don't know. As for others in my life - a small few know some details - actually interestly a couple of friends of my SO. Him telling them wasn't so bad and they have been very kind - one of his friends saved my life, so I'm grateful she knows. As for my own friends - NO - I wouldn't know how to bring it up and IRL I'm quite a private person, so it would be out of place for me to talk about something so personal. The weird thing is that I know far more about them than they know about me, and they never seem to notice/mind. I don't like having to lie about things to my friends though in order to cover up my 'secret' - I suppose that's why I shy away from probing questions about what exactly I do each day, what I was doing the last year - my answer is at best ominously empty.
> Maybe I wish that I had an IRL 'therapy-buddy' (sorry for the corny expression) - someone who just 'knew' and could relate on a personal level.
It is hard to feel alone. I'm glad you are able to tell your SO. If I were not able to talk to mine I don't know what I would do. The relationship I have with my friends is similar - they know nothing about my personal life. I wonder sometimes if they would ever care to know more. I don't think they would, in the end.
I guess having a therapy buddy is what I would hope for sometimes, too. It's hard to explain therapy to a non-goer. But I guess that's what Babble is for. :-)