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Re: Q about appropriate t questions (possibly trig

Posted by petunia on February 19, 2009, at 21:19:52

In reply to Re: Q about appropriate t questions (possibly trig » petunia, posted by wittgensteinz on February 19, 2009, at 20:13:06

Hi Witti! Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply. No, he wasn't reading questions off a list. I wish he had been, as that would have explained it. He was writing, but his questions were entirely his own. It may have been a form, but the kind with lots of lines and few check boxes. It was pretty much rote until we got to the sexual abuse, then he stopped writing and started quizzing me. I had to say stop, not once but several times, and in retrospect I was on the verge of a panic attack.

I think the reason I did not feel that it was badly intended is because my strong response seemed to shock him... but then he went on questioning and insisting on answers. That's when it became way too much. It didn't harm me (beyond a few hours angst) but it's NOT a good start.

In person, for whatever reason, I generally have to say "no" multiple times before I am believed, even when I am blunt, even when I am obviously upset, and I've never been able to figure out why. Maybe I'll ask this guy straight out why he couldn't believe my "no" the first time, and get something useful out of the experience. :)

He may not understand complex PTSD at all, thinking that single-trauma PTSD is where it all starts and stops and he's got it figured out. If that's the case, it all comes down to whether he is willing to accept me as I am -- if he's not, then this is the first step along ten miles of bad road, and I need to stop it before I waste a lot of time not meeting his expectations of what PTSD should respond to or look like.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the feedback. This will definitely help me set the boundaries. I think I will go back on Monday, and between now and then I have some time to think over my approach. Thanks again!

Petunia


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