Posted by raisinb on January 27, 2009, at 14:29:36
In reply to Re: I wish I hadn't cancelled my appointments )o: » sharon7, posted by Dinah on January 27, 2009, at 14:01:50
I used to feel ashamed about admitting any weakness or ambivalence. But I discovered that my therapist welcomed any honest explanation of my feelings, whatever I felt about them.
If you call, maybe you could just explain exactly what you felt and why you canceled (I know, this is easier said than done!), but there's a lot of virtue and more realistic self-esteem to be found in just saying, "I thought that canceling my appointments would make me feel better about being angry/disappointed/upset about what happened in our last few sessions. I think when you did or said...I felt...and I wanted more of this...or this...and I thought by canceling I'd get this...or this...from you, but I find I am more upset than anything, so I changed my mind. Do you have any openings? Can I reschedule?"
Anyway, that's what I'd say in a perfect world :) I used to think that I'd lose self-respect for admitting weakness or need, but usually it turns out to be the opposite.
I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this.