Posted by wittgensteinz on January 23, 2009, at 13:19:22
In reply to Re: My bubble has burst » Wittgensteinz, posted by Nadezda on January 20, 2009, at 15:23:38
I've written to my pdoc. I should say, I think he is a nice man - I believe he is good. He seems far more involved and forthcoming than the last one I saw. The only reservation, and this is something my T saw too is that he seems to think I am iller than I am (or at least he thinks I am iller than my T thinks I am). That said, having seen the pdoc for a few months I came off the meds I was on and for the last 2 months was med free - save for the occasional seroquel. I hadn't felt the ADs were helping and I was on as high a dose as I could with them, so he let me taper off and I was fine and stayed fine. This is where I am now - back feeling rather like I had some time ago. I've written to him now and we'll see. When I saw him last he expressed surprise how well it was going with me but there was also caution - I opted to "contact him when I next needed an appointment".
I see the good in going back to something and not giving up but the experience I had was one of disillusionment and from my experience it is sometimes best to find another way. So I have a meeting with the school next week to find a good plan B. I've registered for the exams, so I'll take them in any case. The language course is going well.
I'm still pretty functional - still doing the most things I normally do. My bf has been ill so I've been doing extra the last couple of weeks in any case. I kind of wish I could crawl under a rock - that would be nice :).
As for camp comfort - a sauna would be nice (it's been very cold here) - lots of yummy food, constant supply of hot chocolate and marsh mallows.. hmmmm :)
Thanks for your words - they are motivating and strengthening. Realistically it's going to be a long while before I am 'better' - maybe I won't ever be fully 'better' - I'll always have my vulnerabilities. I hope in time I can find my place in society and be a reasonably fulfilled human being. Not much to ask, huh?!