Posted by Dinah on January 16, 2009, at 20:34:07
In reply to Deep Down, posted by DAisym on January 15, 2009, at 23:00:12
I get upset too.
"Ok", especially, would feel like it was minimizing the fact that it was still hard, and that I still feel bad sometimes. I guess it depends on whether you consistently *feel* ok. But if someone concentrated on my *doing* rather than my *feeling* I think it would really upset me.
I'm reminded of those studies that show so much improvement with DBT, but the fine print is that the subjects didn't necessarily feel less distress. Or something like that.
But the other thing is... Well, my therapist and I were talking about the related "you're stronger than you think you are". When I asked he said he probably did *think* I was stronger than I thought I was, but that he'd never *say* that to me. :)
When we were talking about why I objected to it, I talked about being afraid I wouldn't need him. But also the overarching feeling when I hear things like that of being so ALONE. Hmmm... I can't quite emphasize that word the right way in type. But there is some visual in my mind of a lone traveler on a road extending to the horizon, with a long shadow being cast. If that makes sense.
And even though he talks of connection and having friendships and support.... Hmmmmm... Again I can't quite put it in words, but there is that vague image in my mind that need is a stronger tie than want. My therapist says it isn't, but I disagree.
Words are so limiting.