Posted by antigua3 on January 16, 2009, at 11:02:51
In reply to Deep Down, posted by DAisym on January 15, 2009, at 23:00:12
You're braver than I am. I don't like being told I'm OK because it makes me want to scream "No, I'm not!" and think that my pdoc doesn't see it. And to be truthful, a lot of the times he doesn't see it, and I've asked him to quit saying it, probably until I'm ready to admit it to myself.
For me, I'm convinced that I'm aiming toward the secondary gain of therapy w/him. I don't want to be OK because it means I'll be out the door. In my head I know it won't be a re-enacting abandonment, if we handle it correctly. (BTW, this is all in my head; he has no plans for termination, but the part that doesn't like how nice he's being to me wants to push him so very far away.)
I'm glad you feel this. Deep down I feel this too and it is a wonderful feeling, depending on yourself and those around you, but knowing that it is being said to you (me, I mean, I guess) can be really scary.
I hope he's not going to be gone for too long.