Posted by lucie lu on December 4, 2008, at 16:38:46
In reply to Final countdown with my T :o(, posted by LadyBug on December 3, 2008, at 23:29:59
> I will probably post after my visit with her on Monday, but after that I believe I must leave babble. This is the only board I post on and I won't have any good therapy stories to write about. That makes me sad. I've learned so much here and had some awesome support that I've appreciated so much. I've had my share of drama this past year. It's been a toughie for me. I'm glad I'm on this side of it and not where I was a year ago. If I knew of the pain I'd be going through I don't think I would have made it. I've wanted to give up a few times but by some miracle I'm still here.
>
> I have HOPE most of all. I have created for myself a little boat to call my own, it's for sure not a cruiser, but I'm afloat, with hope I can keep on growing and be safer as times goes on, knowing that no one will sink my little boat.
> It's more than I had a year ago even though it's not much compared to what I could have had. I've lost it all in time and I've worked my butt off to get to where I am so I'll be happy with my little life raft. I'll turn it into a cruiser some day. I will weather the storms that come my way. 12 years ago, I couldn't cope with a thing. My T taught me how to cope with the strength I had inside, I never knew it was there and didn't know how to use it. I will never sink again as low as I've been this past year. I'm determined. I will remain upbeat as much as I can.Ladybug,
I didn't get to know you well, but always read your threads with sympathy, hope and sadness. Twelve years is a long time in any meaningful human relationship; many marriages have been shorter and of considerably less depth. So are you just another patient to her? I seriously doubt it unless her case load is only made up of such long-term patients who are as committed as you - a pretty unlikely prospect, I would think.
I am so glad that you two are really going to have the chance to say good-bye to one another and to assess what the years have done for each of you. You have written some lovely ideas of what therapy with her has done for you. (Have you thought of giving her something with this written inside as a good-bye present?) Have you ever asked her in what ways you've changed her? There must be some, you can't be with another person in a relationship like this for any length of time without it changing both individuals. Twelve years is a heck of a long time.
And please don't feel you have to leave the board because you are no longer seeing a T. This is a psychology board, not a T board. Psychology includes all kinds of personal growth. From the beautiful things you wrote about your new life and plans, you will continue to be very active in that area. So you should post us and let us know how you're doing but also discuss with us other things that you may be have learned and difficulties you might encounter. I was not aware that a T is the admission ticket for participating on Babble ;-)
All the best to you ((((LadyBug))).
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:866566
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866696.html