Posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on December 3, 2008, at 0:23:39
In reply to Re: PTSD , *child abuse triggers**, my T is aweso » rskontos, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on December 2, 2008, at 23:37:14
I told her about when I was 16-18, that I paid for my own food, toiletries, etc. My mom took all the dishes and pots and pan out of the house when my dad added a video rental to his business. They ate the shop, and if we wanted a meal (dinner at 3pm) I had to go there. Well I was in after school events and work, so I fended for myself and my brother, and I also bought my own lunches at school.(Plus I really didn't want to be around them anyway). The only thing at home was beer and popcorn. It wasn't because we were poor either, we were middle class.
I guess I just did what I had to, even now I wasn't thinking it was that bad, it seemed like the physical abuse was so much more, or at least I thought it was.
Well my T asked me what I would think if a mother did that to MY kids. um, wow! Okay, now I can see how bad it really was, by putting my kids into the situation I lived in. She said it was amazing that I survived and thrived the way I did.
This may be a reason I am overweight too. I was always hungry as a child, but now, I have plenty of food available. So am I overeating because I need to be safe? I am not sure, but it has me thinking. I do feel so much comfort in having a full pantry and fridge. She told me it was very devastating the neglect I suffered and she is sure it has effected me, i just don't see it yet.
We talked about so much more, I don't have the energy to write about right now. But something very enduring happened at my session today, I will write more later about it.