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Re: Well, I slept on it - trigger perhaps » Dinah

Posted by seldomseen on November 21, 2008, at 15:53:46

In reply to Re: Well, I slept on it - trigger perhaps, posted by Dinah on November 21, 2008, at 12:29:39

No worries about the confusion. While I don't think there is upset with his marriage, both of his parents have died this year.

It's hard to fathom how that must feel for him and that it is not affecting his ability in some ways. But the availability is a long term problem, as is my feeling that he is just "phoning it in".

Perhaps it is because I have been with him so long, and know what he is capable of, that the absence of him in the room is that much more pronounced. This benign neglect is intolerable.

Regarding the sexual nature of my therapy. I, too, have wondered exactly who is benefitting most from our discussions. It is very easy to take certain statements and actions out of context however. Suffice it to say that I am convinced, thoroughly and completely, that he is going to stay in his chair - as am I.

When I brought to his attention one aspect of those sexual discussions that was particularly upsetting to me, he explained his position and stopped immediately.

I still wonder if the desire to bolt is coming from a place of fear.

But fear of what? Fear of being hurt? That ship has already sailed. He has already hurt me. So I guess it is a desire to escape any more hurt. But is that even possible?

Seldom.

 

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