Posted by Trotter on November 17, 2008, at 13:54:22
In reply to Re: Desire versus Acceptance » Trotter, posted by DAisym on November 16, 2008, at 19:34:27
In Jill Taylor's book she largely talks about left versus right brains, which I appreciate is oversimplifying things. However she is a neuroscientist, so I trust that this is a helpful generalisation.
That was a really good point you made about right brain people being less happy than those who favor left. I was unaware of this, but am happy at this point in time to accept this as fact.
I had an epiphany this morning, before I read your post, but it certainly relates to it. Please forgive me if it is an oversimplification by only talking in left and right brains without descriminating specific areas such as frontal cortex etc.
Here goes! What we all ideally need are fully integrated left and right brains. The left brain needs to have a well developed sense of self (self-esteem), purpose and be decisive. The right brain needs to love and feel connected. Both are important, and the more I can integrate both into my daily life the happier I will be.
This proposition is consistent with right brain dominated people not being happy. To be happy I think people do need a strong sense of self and purpose in their lives, and this comes from the left side of the brain. I have noticed myself, when I have come out of a period of right brain dominated activity (meditation/loving-kindness), my self seems lost, and doesn't know quite what to do. It feels somewhat weak and impotent. This is because the self has been ignored, not nutured. A strong sense of self is maintained by the left brain constantly chattering positive thoughts (conscious and unconcious) and it also benefits from having direction (purpose) to feel secure.
People who live too much in the left brain will also not be happy. It is important to love and feel connected. I believe one's capacity to love is very closely tied to ones ability to be happy. A scientist who is always in his left brain may sustain his life with passion for his work, but unless he takes time out to love and connect (right brain), I think he will ultimately suffer burn out and depression.
So I still maintain the right brain is where pure happiness is to be found, but unless one can live ENTIRELY in the right brain (think stroke or monk), without a nagging and needy self interfering, it is essential to have a well developed left side as well, otherwise the needy self will not let the right brain person enjoy his right side. Does that make sense?
Anyway, I see this as an epiphany for me because it addresses my ongoing dilemma regarding desire/purpose/goals/self versus acceptance/contentment. Yes, it is possible to achieve nirvana by living virtually entirely in the right side of one's brain, but it is not practical nor achieveable in the real world. To do it you need to shut yourself away in a monastery and meditate 24/7 or have a stroke like Jill Taylor or Ekhart Tolle (he doesn't admit to having a stroke, but it sounds to me like he had one). The solution is to nurture the self (left brain) and have goals and purpose, and encourage productive desire (not all desires are helpful), but equally important is to regularly exercise the right brain through loving and compassion. The ideal is to be able to switch rapidly between the two according to what is happening in one's life. For example being enthusiastic about one's work, but coming home and being loving towards one's family.
How do I apply this in my own life? I need to develop a set of beliefs/affirmations and encourage positive self talk. I need to set new goals that give my life purpose and inspire. I need to set aside regular time to meditate, practice loving-kindness and connect spiritually with Mother Earth (ME, get it?). I need to practice switching between desiring/doing and loving/connecting in my daily life, depending on which mode is more appropriate at the time.
However I am aware that with me, today's epiphany can be tomorrow's trash. I hope I am onto something with this. It really is holding me up from getting on with living my life. I think what I have outlined is obvious and intuitive to normal mentally healthy people. My right brain is a bit retarded and not well integrated with my left so I have to 'work out' what is just intuitively known by others.
I appreciate your comments DAisym, even when you don't agree. You seem to have thought quite a bit about the subject too. Just a pesonal interest, or are doing formal study?
Trotter
poster:Trotter
thread:860124
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/863608.html