Posted by Suedehead on November 14, 2008, at 16:38:07
In reply to p.s. (no long wind, only a short breeze) » lucie lu, posted by lucie lu on November 14, 2008, at 15:47:58
Hi Lucie,
Thanks for your thoughtful responses! I think a lot of what you said is spot-on, honestly. I *do* feel pressured to perform for him. I'm terrified of doing/saying the wrong thing and being rejected by him, so I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what he wants and attempting to give it to him. It's absurd, because I know that what he *really* wants is for me to open up to him, to stop being so concerned with *his* feelings and to focus on my own needs, desires, etc. Well, that's what he really wants on *some* level, at least. It may even be what he really wants on the 'most important' level. But, of course, it's clear--thanks to all the self-disclosure--that he also wants other things, and this is what stifles me. I know that there are lots of things he likes about me that are decidedly less 'present' in my personality when I really let my guard down, for instance. I'm on my way out the door right now, unfortunately, so I can't write more at the moment, but I'm going to think some more about what you said and will try to give a more substantial response later.
poster:Suedehead
thread:862649
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/863061.html