Posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 12:01:28
In reply to Going to see my T tonight~, posted by LadyBug on November 4, 2008, at 11:26:47
Her response to you and her offer to see you in "your" time do not sound like someone who has negative feelings about you. They sound more like someone who cares about you very much, and would wish to restore good feelings to your relationship. For eleven years she cared about you. I'm sure that didn't end.
She didn't handle things well at the end. She was also thinking about her retirement. The one may have influenced the other.
Is it at all possible that her upcoming retirement also influenced you? In that perhaps at a different time in your therapy, it would be worth fighting through. But with her retirement coming up, it wasn't worth it? Or maybe even with her retirement, it might be less painful if you were angry with her? I'm not saying this is true, but I do think that in your situation that would have been at the back of my mind. The retirement would seem like such an abandonment. I wouldn't much feel like working anything through with him. And I'd be inclined to interpret what he said as being further evidence of how little he cared for me.
She's flawed, not perfect. But I strongly suspect that in her flawed, ultimately imperfect, way she cares very much, is very sorry things ended as they did, and would love to have a chance to end on better feelings.
This doesn't negate the fact that she did hurt you, and she didn't repair it, and she then abandoned you by retiring. But maybe, when you look back over eleven years of caring, you can have a warmer feeling than you have now?
poster:Dinah
thread:860735
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/860742.html