Posted by turtle on November 1, 2008, at 11:02:16
In reply to Desire versus Acceptance, posted by Trotter on October 31, 2008, at 18:59:52
I don't necessarily view these concepts as exclusive opposites.
When Passion is set up as an opposite of Acceptance, it makes Acceptance feel like "settling for less". There is another way of looking at acceptance - "opening to all".
When I look at the history of the relationships throughout my life, for the most part I always maintain quite a bit of distance. (I'm working on this in therapy.) There was one relationship though that stands out from the others in it's intensity and closeness. It was an unconventional relationship, and I knew I was going to get hurt. A huge shift occurred in me. It was only through complete acceptance (being open, absorbing everything, not trying to change the situation, accepting both the intensely good and the intensely painful) that I was able to experience the passion. I learned that you can't exclude the pain without also excluding the good things. I also learned to allow opposite truths to both exist at the same time.
To some extent I see "desire to be happy" as flawed in that it is focused on only allowing the good. I see Acceptance as allowing *all* to be, absorbing and opening to it all. In giving up the struggle to exclude the painful you also find a way to open the door to the Passion.