Posted by Kath on October 31, 2008, at 18:46:34
In reply to Re: What does dissociation mean?, posted by Sigismund on October 28, 2008, at 16:45:29
> What I mean when I use the word 'dissociation' always occurs along with being unable to leave a situation. Now this 'unable to leave' business is like the memory of my childhood where I simply had to conform and adapt. The Tony Morrison quote was enlightening. What accompanies the feeling of being unable to leave is a swimmy blurring of everything (perceptually) so that everything is strange, like I've taken some awful drug. But I can't leave because I can't find a good excuse (and I hardly know what I want). And nothing helpful comes to mind, and I'm frightened that people will see how terrible I feel (which they do). Maybe I'm frightened that if I say 'Well I have to leave now' they will say 'Why? Wouldn't you like to stay longer?' (That's the memory) or they might say 'You look like you never wanted to come'. Sometimes I cut the whole thing short by saying 'Of course I would prefer never to have been born.'
> My goodness. What's this all about? Sounds like childhood.
~ ~ ~ Siggie - sounds Awful. Sometimes I'm in touch with a part of myself that says "Hey - I do NOT want to be here - never did". The 'never did' part feels pre-birth!! It's a weird feeling.