Posted by lucie lu on October 29, 2008, at 18:22:48
In reply to Ill-advised emails, posted by Suedehead on October 28, 2008, at 23:30:24
I don't think you did anything in the least bit inappropriate! There are really two slightly different issues although both concern boundaries. The first is the unsolicited email. He must have given you his email address, and if he prefers you to limit its use or for you to communicate with him a different way between sessions, he will simply tell you (or may allow negotiation). Even if unsolicited, your email was about true therapy "business" after all - it's not like you emailed him a chain letter or spammed him, right? As for the dream itself, I agree with the others that your candid disclosure of your dream will provide great stuff to work on in your session. And your dreams, thoughts, and feelings can never been boundary crossings. You can't control them. That's why not being allowed to act upon them leaves us so free to explore their meanings. Your dream is also a lot more than the overtly sexual themes, there are lots of levels to look at. I think you'll probably have some very productive sessions discussing them.
Also your worry about "being seductive" is well-intentioned but misplaced. You should not fear the effect of ANY of your material on his countertransference or actions - they are entirely his responsibility. This is one of the arguments against T's expressing reciprocal attraction to a client - that it can inhibit therapy. It is the client's job to be seductive (or provocative or destructive or whatever) and it is the Ts job to contain it and protect the therapy. So you are just doing your job, and hopefully he will do his. If things are not working out that way, though, and role reversals are happening in your therapy, that's a red flag and you should seriously consider referral sooner rather than later. Hopefully all will be well but keep your eyes open.