Posted by sadlittlegirl on October 26, 2008, at 23:14:10
In reply to Re: too curious for my own good » sadlittlegirl, posted by JayMac on October 26, 2008, at 17:44:13
I've got serious abandonment issues thanks to having been physically and emotionally abused by my parents for most of my childhood. My T knows all about this, of course. I spent most of my adult life being emotionally distant in relationships and not trusting anyone. My T is the first one that was ever able to get past my barriers and have me allow myself to trust her. Anytime I think I've done something that might upset her, like leaving too many voice mail messages or saying something that I think might upset her, I'm filled with fear that she will be angry with me and tell me that I have to find a new T. This is in spite of her giving me more and more proof that I can trust her.
I'm planning to tell her when I see her Monday afternoon. I've posted here and on a social worker board that I'm on so I could get opinions from both sides, and just about everyone says I should tell her. Cognitively, I don't think she'll stop having me as a client. That still doesn't keep me from being terrified about telling her. Every time I rehearse how I'm going to tell her, I end up bursting into tears and bawling through it. I think there's a good chance I'll be crying before she even lets me into her office.
I'll start another thread telling how it goes.