Posted by llurpsienoodle on August 10, 2008, at 9:30:50
In reply to Re: Thank you all, posted by indigogal on August 9, 2008, at 9:12:02
> Hi Llurpsie... I have only posted on here a few times before, but read the site with interest regularly. I am also a T in therapy and can relate to a lot of the stuff you wrote (and my T is also a T in therapy-- one of the few self-disclosures she's made).
I have always appreciated that my T was authentic. I know that one of his beliefs is that the therapist should be a PERSON, not just some ideal human. He told me in one of our very first sessions that he gets along better with people with unique quirks and neuroses, and that he thinks that people with no problems are f*ck*ng boring (in his words) [my eyebrows raise!]. I know a fair bit about his lifestyle. He came to the coffeeshop where I used to work with his wife one time (that threw me for a loop!), and I often go to his home (office) for sessions. It's been hard to integrate his personhood with his therapist-self, but I've tried really hard.
>I initially had a VERY difficult time being "on the other side of the couch" and allowing myself to be vulnerable... I still sometimes do. I know she says things once in awhile that she wouldn't say to a non-T client, and once in a while I ask her a mentor-like question (she's been practicing a few years longer than me)... But in general our relationship is quite defined as therapist and client. She's never talked to me about other clients though, I think that would make me uncomfortable.
It did at first, but I have been amazed to hear of some very bizarre cases that he's worked on. He has never told me about any case that seems to resemble me, which is good, because I might feel jealous? or something
>I think I'd feel kind of hurt personally if she described our relationship as a supervisor/supervisee relationship... and that would also make me feel like she saw me more as a colleague than a client. Which in a way I would like, but in another way I know would be problematic for me (b/c for so long- and even sometimes now- that's how I want her to see me! but i know it's not helpful therapeutically).
Yes, I'm torn, because I'm just starting out in this field-- I WANT the respect, and to learn from his expertise. I WANT to be able to pretend that all is well. But, deep down, I know that the greater good will come from confronting my own weaknesses, and learning from them. It hurt a LOT to hear him characterize our relationship in this way and makes me think that I've been wasting my time. I dunno. what a mess
>Sooo... my strong suggestion for you would be to put it all out there. Which it sounds like you already have, by leaving your T that voicemail. So brave! Let your T know what you need and what isn't working for you, and see if anything changes... I really hope he's able to hear where you're coming from and make the necessary changes so he can better help you. Hugs, Llurpsie!
thank you so much indigogal-- I hope you'll post more often here. It's great to hear from you
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:845094
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/845290.html