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Reality is hard to keep around these days/triggers

Posted by rskontos on May 23, 2008, at 23:02:06

Man, I am not sure of the triggers but so far in the last three days, I have faded in and out so much I can't tell you how many times I went in and out. Today alone, I faded in and out at least three times. I was very anxious, and so it would seem to be a big thing that triggers these states. I am not sure who took over. I believe it was the boss/smart one. I remember starting a meeting with the builder of my house and I faded in for part of it and then faded out again. I faded in and out at the grocery store. I still don't know what it is about that stupid grocery store. My H and I am in the middle of downsizing my car situation and I faded in and out yesterday at the dealership and today when we went there.

Then tonight while watching tv, a news program about the presidential process update, I just felt floaty. That is a good word.

I still feel sort of floaty.

Maybe it is because my H was suppose to meet with my p-doc, but couldn't in the end due to work. Maybe before it was due to him going, and then after I don't know.

While I was watching TV I actually had a hard time feeling my body.

Anyway, if you have a hard time relating to this dont worry, I have a hard time too and I am living it. I am dreaming alot but I cant remember them very well. I am having flashbacks some but everything has slowed down. I am sort of in a holding pattern I think. Like the dam is leaking but very slowly. I guess because I have been holding back from my therapist this is some fallout.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I don't feel depressed per se just floaty and weird. Even kinda of dizzy. Like this page wants to spin as I type. I guess I will take a xanax and try to sleep.





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poster:rskontos thread:830822