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Re: Is it awful of me? rskontos

Posted by Dinah on May 21, 2008, at 10:06:12

In reply to Re: Is it awful of me?, posted by rskontos on May 21, 2008, at 8:44:31

Ahhh, keeping the records.

Well I keep records of all my spending, but admittedly not usually cumulative.

I started a spreadsheet back when I first started therapy for tax/medical reimbursement purposes. And as is often the case with my spreadsheets, I don't start a new spreadsheet with each year, I just add a new page. I'm not sure if I always had the cumulative totals or if I added that later. But it's been a while. And each year I copy over the format, so the cumulative totals are there automatically. Total dollar, total visits. Along with many not terribly useful details that I added at one point or another. We're talking over fifteen years of records, since I got married.

For some reason, I always kept therapy separate from other medical bills. And adjunct therapy was always kept with other medical bills. I don't think there was any deep reason for that other than that it was a regular expense, so I kept it separate, like prescriptions. There wouldn't have been any reason when I started it, since therapy wasn't really emotionally charged at the time. Hmmm... I did have some trouble with the reimbursement for therapy at one point, and probably needed to seggregate it to talk about it to the powers that be. Then I got a prescription for it from an MD.

I didn't have to go digging for the information. It was just there. And it was just entertaining until it actually happened. Another milestone like an anniversary. A chance to stop and reflect. I think Annierose was right in that it matters more than it ordinarily would because of recent circumstances. And possibly because I *have* been tearful and depressed in the morning lately. I felt better later in the day.

We're comfortable in a middle class sort of way. We don't have to worry about groceries but probably stop to think if we eat out too often. We hope that our cars last ten years (although mine rarely make it). My clothes are inexpensive and I wear them until they literally rub bare. Now that probably is related to my feelings about myself. I see no real reason to spend any money adorning this really awful body. I'm similarly horrified at my salon costs, but it's important for me to keep my hair the color I expect it to be. I have a few areas where I spend too much. I love gadgets, I have a couple of hobbies, some expensive, and I have dogs that require a lot of upkeep. Certainly I know that while my husband never complains, he isn't happy about my spending so much on therapy. Even though nearly half of it is covered by medical reimbursement. He'd like to see me quit my job at least as much as I do. But that's impossible with therapy.

I guess that's a long way to say that despite the fact that I'm an admitted spendthrift, it's not an easy expenditure, or lightly taken.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:830103
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/830308.html