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Re: Therapist I guess Kind of Fired me As I don't Phillipa

Posted by Dinah on May 20, 2008, at 21:59:10

In reply to Re: Therapist I guess Kind of Fired me As I don't Dinah, posted by Phillipa on May 20, 2008, at 20:42:20

Phillipa, I really doubt that she did this to make you quit. She wouldn't need to do that. She could just say she didn't think she could help you any further. You say she forgot your homework assignments, likely she forgot what she said about bringing your husband. It's about her, not you.

I'm lousy at knowing when it's wise to look elsewhere and when it's wise to persevere. I could have said much of what you say about your therapist about my own therapist for the first few years of therapy. He forgot *everything*. He often seemed sleepy. I felt that he didn't respect me or like me very much. But I stuck to him like a leech, and now I do feel liked and respected, he remembers too much, and if he appears sleepy I tell him to wake up.

Did her homework have any benefits? Would it be useful to have a discussion with your husband about his needs with regard to work? What he needs from you? Even if it isn't reciprocal at this point? (I have no way of knowing if it would be.) Sometimes one partner needs to make a change for the better, even if it's not fair, in order for a sequence of positive change to begin. Or so I found to my surprise was true for me.

I suppose anxiety is the same way. You need to make a few scary changes for a sequence of positive change to begin. I'm not so good with facing my fears...

I am blathering on.

But my point is that whether or not you decide to see her again, you can build on things that she suggested. Then you can bring her the positive things you've done and make sure she hears them. Or you can bring them to someone else.

And you can think about things on your own too. When you fear being alone, what is it you think of? You talk about being afraid of growing older. Do you think that's related?

It may well be time to move on and look elsewhere for a therapist. But whatever you decide, improving is something you do. They're the guides, and a good guide helps a lot. But don't let her attitude make you give up on yourself and your own life. On her maybe, but not on you or on change.

 

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