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Re: threpaist with medical emergency peratree

Posted by Dinah on May 20, 2008, at 20:24:50

In reply to threpaist with medical emergency, posted by peratree on May 20, 2008, at 15:30:19

I haven't had exactly the same situation. But my therapist was gone for three weeks or so when his mother became ill and then died.

I think it's perfectly normal to be concerned about her *and* to be angry with her for not being immune to medical emergencies. My therapist says that if we're honest with ourselves we probably feel that way about anyone we rely on. And that in therapy we can be honest about those feelings. Whenever anything happens to him, my kneejerk reaction is "What does this mean to meeeee..."

I'm not going to pretend that he doesn't get upset on occasion with my attitude. But in the end he understands it and thinks it's appropriate given our relationship.

Under the circumstances, I think I'd be upset that I'd allowed myself to "regress" (or my therapist had encouraged it). That my defenses were laid bare and then my therapist disappeared leaving me in that vulnerable state. I'm not altogether sure whether, for me, I actually did regress or if I just laid bare the vulnerable "young" feelings that were always hidden under the surface and influencing my actions but were covered up by the veneer of adult expectations. But that's me.

When my therapist was gone for three weeks, I did call his replacement and speak more to my psychiatrist. And when he was gone for a longer period of time, I did find a "replacement" therapist. It was of course no replacement. But it diverted my attention and gave me something to think about. And the other therapist also supported me in my feelings of loss.

I know it wouldn't be appropriate for her to give you a rundown on her medical condition. But did she give you an indication of whether she'd be ok at the end of the month? I think that's the least therapists can do. Tell us that they need to go away for a while, but also tell us what to expect after that month with regard to our therapy.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:830151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/830207.html