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Re: I feel like a total loser Angela2

Posted by llurpsienoodle on May 14, 2008, at 5:19:24

In reply to Re: I feel like a total loser Happyflower, posted by Angela2 on May 13, 2008, at 21:16:15

Angela,
Around these parts we know you to be a very kind and generous person. We know the you that is sweet, and trying hard to be a better person.

Sometimes other people don't allow us to be at our best. They force us to sink beneath our level of what we are comfortable with. That's one interpretation of the situation.

The other interpretation is that she is holding you back in someway, from finding a real friend. I remember recently that you "opened up" to a woman you knew (side note: cat is drinking from her bowl, not the toilet YAY!) and that she was reciprocating. This is a scary thing to do- to go out on a limb. In many ways it's easier to stick with an established relationship, even once it becomes dysfunctional.

Is this the same person (the one that you opened up to?)that you are currently posting about? Maybe it is actually more comfortable sticking with someone who reinforces you own self-belief that you are socially inept. (that's a very distorted belief, by the way. You have many social graces, and you would make a good friend, from what I've seen on this forum and in bchat).

Maybe a little more history here- are you someone who finds it easy to forgive? or think you forgave? Often when a friend hurts us we pretend we forgive, just because it seems easier at the time. Deep down inside, we harbor a grudge, especially if the hurt was never acknowledged by the other party.

Several possible dynamics going on here. My main point, however, is that you have extended the olive branch, and you are worthy of being a wonderful friend. It is her issues, not yours that prevent that friendship from (re) blossoming

((((angela))))

sorry you're feeling so rotten. Anti-loser!
-Ll


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