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Re: Sick to death of my family Quintal

Posted by widget on May 13, 2008, at 8:28:53

In reply to Sick to death of my family, posted by Quintal on May 11, 2008, at 8:23:19

I was struck by Sigismund's message about how difficult it is to detatch from family in order to better deal with them. He said, "then they're dead and that's that." Which is true except you still deal with them. My parents are both dead (my dad being the emotionally abusive parent) but I'm working really hard to be free of him. I have two brothers and find it very difficult to talk to them. I'm really scared!!! It's all tied up in old family patterns. My younger brother sets all kinds of "rules" that I don't know about and, therefore, break and always feel I'm in trouble with him and to blame. I had been able to at least talk to my other brother about what dad was like but now find he has decided to look at dad's "good" qualities (like he fed and clothed us and we had a house) and I feel REALLY alone. Of course, I've always felt that way in my family as I was the only one who would want to talk about the situation of having this monster of a father. It is tricky. I'd like to be closer to them but I fear that means I have to be like them and agree that dad was really ok. That means I invalidate myself and my memories which I am trying to heal from by going to therapy. And, as you all probably know, therapy is hard. However, I feel better in general just not around the family. Does anyone have advice for this type of situation? Is it a choice between being accepted in the family or being honest to myself? Thanks! Widget




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