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Re: Sick to death of my family

Posted by Quintal on May 11, 2008, at 9:26:14

In reply to Re: Sick to death of my family Quintal, posted by Sigismund on May 11, 2008, at 8:35:50

>That is just awful.

Yes, it is. My mother had me circumcised against my (vehement) wishes when I was a little boy, and for some reason it reminds me of that. It's this thing of taking knifes and scissors to another person's genitals that I can't stand. Especially when they don't want it done. I start to dissociate every time I hear anything on the topic (it's about the only thing that makes me dissociate). I can't forgive her for that either. It was the cruellest thing that anyone ever did to me, and I find anything that reminds me of it very 'triggering'.

>I'm unclear as to whether you live in the same house as your father, and whether your extended family (your aunt) lives close by.

We used to live together, but I asked him to move out two years ago. He now lives in a council bungalow just up the road, and we're both much happier for it. My aunt lives further down the same street as me.

Both of them enter my house without knocking and it's starting to bother me. I often go around naked - especially in hot weather, and on a few occasions I've been caught by my aunt creeping in. Why can't they at least shout to give a warning? That's the polite thing to do.

>It's my unfortunate experience that by the time you get some detachment from your family so you can see at least a few opportunities and feel less impingement, it's really much too late.

I would like there to be opportunities to mend the relationship, but he doesn't want it. He sabotages any peace we manage to create every time he drinks (every weekend), so as far as I'm concerned the opportunity for change has long gone.

>I wish there was some way we could see our families the same way as outsiders do: seeing the same things but having much less reaction to it, and maybe seeing it from some different angles.

I do see the funny side of it, especially with my aunt. She can be fun to be with, but also irritating because of her extreme stupidity. Really you have to be there. It's different when they're your own relatives because you're bound to them in some way. I remember times when my friend would get frustrated with some of her (slightly retarded) relatives, but I just thought they were funny (in a nice sort of way). With my dad, the problem is that he knows how to press my buttons by now. It's not that he does much that's so terrible these days - he just knows how to make me angry, and he enjoys doing it.

>Then they are dead and gone. And there you are.

Do you ever want to be back with them?





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