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Re: Talking about Shame **triggers** sex too Dinah

Posted by llurpsienoodle on May 9, 2008, at 18:48:52

In reply to Re: Talking about Shame **triggers** sex too llurpsienoodle, posted by Dinah on May 9, 2008, at 18:18:07

> Congratulations!!!
> I'm not at all surprised, of course. You *are* deserving.

(shrugs) thank you (smile)
> I can see ways in which your lists aren't totally incompatible. Fear not being able to tolerate something and fear of your therapist could include sexual fears, but also extend beyond them. Could he be focusing on sexual elements because of your conversation? My therapist isn't averse to jumping around in session, but I hear many therapists operate on the assumption that topic switches aren't as random as they might seem.

yes, probably got his mind on the sex topic. it's one of my issues, so it's hard to avoid it every SINGLE week for months on end. yet i managed to do that, until recently. (sh*t)

> Is your therapist someone who could conceivably arouse sexual thoughts? (I tried like heck to come up with an alternate verb choice, but my brain froze.)

I will not allow myself to conceive of him as a sexual person. I'm terrified of what would happen. What if I become attracted to him. That would be awful. In conversation today he used both the word "arouse" and the word "intimate" to describe our discussion. It went something like this "having me in the room arouses some fears..." and "it's difficult because it is an intimate topic"

He's using his therapist tricks on me. for sure. I am trying hard to be immune, but it's a tough front

okay, lemme describe him. 68 years old going on 50. on his 2nd marriage to another therapist. yes, the first wife was a therapist too. lol. hilarious wit. tall and athletic. slim, but not skinny. mostly has a winning smile and twinkly blue eyes. salt and pepper beard, reminds me of the prof we all agreed was "hot" in college. so um yeah. the answer is yes. of course. And things that turn me off. like old man legs (he pulls up his sox at least 2x per session). when he wears his Mr. Rogers cardigan he looks his age. He doesn't know crap about classical music.

> Faking it... Hmmm... I don't know what the relative merits may be, but I know what a lousy actor I am. :(

(ssshhhh! don't tell anyone, but I was faking it with kk)


p.s. I know I'm gonna regret this post later. I might have to change my posting name




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