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Re: it's the little things... » twinleaf

Posted by seldomseen on April 27, 2008, at 9:22:31

In reply to it's the little things..., posted by twinleaf on April 26, 2008, at 18:06:48

I certainly can see the therapeutic benefit in discussing your analyst's erection.

I truly admire both of your abilities to face this head on -pardon the pun :).

There have been times, looking back on it, when I think my therapist has had an erection during our sessions as well. A quick attempt to open my file and put it on his lap, the crossing of the legs, turning slightly away from me - I think have all been tell-tale signs.

My therapist and I have dealt with erotic countertranference directly. He admitted that he would very much enjoy having sex with me. How I reacted to that statement is still driving our therapy to this day.

However, I suppressed my feelings about that for about a year, but we finally got around to it again.

I had to be at a particular place in therapy before I could tolerate that discussion without just losing it.

I think your analyst is exactly right in that his erection could be terrifying or it could be wonderful.

I've learned that desire doesn't have to spoil or ruin anything. It can exist in the room. Examining that desire, and the feelings around it can truly open doors and help us understand ourselves and our issues better.

The key is being totally confident that no one is going to act on that desire within the therapy. It has to be a safe place for it to be explored.

Thank you for sharing this experience, it certainly has given me the opportunity to think about the relationship I have with my T, and the safety I feel with him now.

Seldom

 

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