Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 22, 2008, at 7:41:04
In reply to self esteem, how to get it?, posted by Happyflower on April 21, 2008, at 19:52:57
I understand that. I never felt adequate or good enough.....however I have worked at it.
Every time someone says something nice about me, or something good happens, I write it down, and read it when not feeling so good.
I think it is a matter of re-writing history; trying hard to ignore the old tapes (what are all lies), and re-write your OWN story and truth.
I know it is hard, because even tho I won a scholarship, have unbelievable endorsements for my memoir (Elie Wiesel being one; survivor of Auschwitz has written to me), have a poetry site with amazing comments (amost 13,000 hits now); been published in a psychiatric journal, published twice in a University journal, am the moderator of an abused survivors' group, etc., etc.....you get the picture; there is still this little voice that says: They aren't really talking about you; you aren't that good/important.
The only thing I can do, is tell those voices to shutup and put positive things in that brain; it is a fight to get self-esteem, but it can be done; write, talk, think, etc....
Technically, you/we know the truth and understand, but it is the emotions (old tapes--lies told to us by people who hated their own selves) that we fight....I wish I had the answer; no one does; we just have to keep reaffirming that we ARE worthy, and we DO count, and we ARE valuable, and look at what we have accomplished.
Love, Ally-gurl/twin
poster:sassyfrancesca
thread:824665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/824741.html