Posted by llurpsienoodle on April 12, 2008, at 18:48:42
I guess I'm not suicidal anymore, although those feelings pop up from time to time regardless.
But I have been spending way too much time in bed
vegetative llurpsie.
like l5 hours a day in bed. sometimes with the computer, sometimes without. mostly just because my feet are cold, literally.
I guess I'm facing an existential crisis. I don't know what I want to do to earn money this summer. I keep applying for jobs to find out that I am over qualified for entry level, but don't have the right qualifications for anything else. so frustrating.
T (yes, I will manage to bring this back to the psychological) says that he is confident. But I don't feel so confident like I did 6 weeks ago embarking on this little experiment of quitting a job that sounds awesome on paper and ended up being the "job from hell". I wonder if hell gets a little *star*. we'll see. I'll shake my p*m p*ms if it doesn't.
but I digress. I have been invited to join a private venture with a couple colleagues from the job from hell, but it won't start for another month. I need something more substantial and reliable I think. this "freelancing" type stuff is not so hot I guess.
I wonder if T senses my vulnerability and that is why he is saying nice things to me lately, trying to bolster my confidence. He said 3 sessions in a row that he looks forward to our sessions. He even said that he was happy that I was the last patient he saw before spring break. I wish I could see it in myself though. I feel like a wreck. A depressed, alcoholic (yes, been having cravings), wreck in existential crisis. acute.
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:822938
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/822938.html