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Re: hard for me to hear » sunnydays

Posted by Dinah on April 7, 2008, at 9:17:02

In reply to hard for me to hear, posted by sunnydays on April 6, 2008, at 22:10:54

I'm feeling disconnected too, and that is spilling over to Babble. I think it happens sometimes.

It's hard with therapy. There are certain fantasies about relationships outside the therapy room that really are fantasies. And ones that would cause more harm in the long run than they'd be worth if they were acted upon.

But there are those fantasies about the relationship within the therapy room too. And those do have the possibility of being fulfilled without harm. Depending on the client, and what would be harmful I suppose. The fantasies about inside the therapy room are what have caused me the most pain over the years. Until I really began to understand what *is* and won't change, and also understood what is possible.

But fantasies of all sort are good fodder for therapy in the hands of a good therapist. Because I think we mostly recognize that the fantasies about our therapists repeat fantasies we've had throughout our lives. Some of them we might play out over and over with different people. And some just reflect longing and pain from what we never have had. A good therapist recognizes them for what they are, and helps us learn to deal with patterns or longings.

I think in my case that might just mean that I recognize that I do have certain patterns that cause me both pleasure and pain. And I've decided that overall they do me no real harm, and that I'd prefer not to change them. :)

 

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