Posted by raisinb on April 4, 2008, at 11:43:02
In reply to letter from T hurts, trying to move on fast, posted by crushedout on April 3, 2008, at 18:54:40
Crushed, I'm sorry :( I guess it's difficult to get through such a big loss without *some* grief and sadness. So you're normal. But it sounds tough.
When one of my relationships ends, I always feel better if I am in control of the rejection. That way *I'm* the one rejecting, rather than being reject-able, so at least I feel on top of the situation. Her letter may have felt like her rejecting you, so the loss becomes compounded with feeling bad about yourself.
Talk therapy isn't for everybody. In fact, I often wonder if it's for me, because it exacerbates my tendency to analyze, analyze, analyze, and never *do* anything to create change (the Hamlet syndrome).
You want your T and you can't have her. If she can't take you any farther than realizing that, maybe you're right that this therapy wasn't as helpful as it could have been? (I don't know, maybe you did learn some things about yourself from that? I haven't been in your therapy, so I don't know). But the idea is that you learn from these painful feelings--and not just to accept the feelings.