Posted by rskontos on March 31, 2008, at 20:25:31
In reply to Re: Homework » rskontos, posted by DAisym on March 31, 2008, at 20:06:50
You are welcome although to share I have to ignore admini's bs for now.
I can't talk to my father he is still part of the problem. I have no relationship with him I actually feel nothing for him. When he comes around he still says cruel and hurtful things and when I call him on it he acts like who me? I was kidding. So I try and stay the Heck away from him, nor do I call him. He calls me and sometimes I answer the phone. Interesting my one sister the one I have a relationship with, the other one is still shaky, feels the same way. She says if she did not have children she would cut all ties to my father. He just wasn't not there for us and he told me several times to my face he never wanted children, you see my father does not believe any of his three daughter's are his. So....accounts for his behavior I guess. But then again, why in the 50's do you marry if you don't want children, regular sex. I don't know I can't figure him out and I have stopped trying. He is my father I see him in my children but if he wants to think we are not that is his issue not mine. He hugs us know soft of. You know those hugs that are void of feelings. Yes those kinds. So I really don't think of him. He could not tell you one fact about me other than where I live, my phone number. My favorite color, or the dreams I had a kid, or what foods I like. Nope none of that. He just doesn't know his kids or grandkids but he has built this fantasy in his mind where he pretends too.
I think though your mom deserves some anger. As a mom I am reponsible for my children and protecting them from harm from my husband would be one of those responsibility. And while it would be hurtful for one of them to come to me and tell me of that I would always believe them and go down fighting for them. So I think she should have known something was happening to her daughter. Or at the very least make it a relationship where you felt like you could share anything.
My daughter recently had an incident of almost date rape. She managed to right off the attacker and get away. she told me. I think alot of girls might not tell their parents. I am glad we have this kind of relationship because I made sure she could tell me anything. I wanted her safe from anyone. No matter. So while I understand how you feel I think some of it would be justified if you felt it-anger I mean.
I do get more flashbacks when I speak to my sisters especially the one I just started to again. That relationship is very damaged by my parents. They pitted us against each other on purpose and my father still does. My sister still has issues she holds against me for not protecting her more from my mother. I am only 22 months older yet I was suppose to protect her. My p-doc says she tried to make me her mother. I am not to into talking to her. Our last conversation did not go so well and I haven't tried it again. I have only so much energy and I am using it myself for my own internal issues these days.
No it isn't too painful. Maybe somewhat helpful.
I hope it helps you in your journey.