Posted by LadyBug on March 16, 2008, at 7:49:59
In reply to Re: Just wanted to tell you... » LadyBug, posted by KAL44 on March 15, 2008, at 22:06:26
I woke up at 4:00 am, I can't sleep my heart hurts so much. I can't stop crying. I miss this little guy more than I can say. I love him like nothing else in my life right now.
Do I call my T and leave her a voice mail? I don't think she gets it at all and I'm sure this is probably something she's never dealt with with any of her other patient's. Or do I cry in silence? Can I face my co-workers when I return to work tomorrow and just break down on them? I can't face the world right now.My T is leaving this week for 3 weeks, not that she will be of any help to me anyway. She's mad at me right now. I'm an emotional mess. I look up open adoption on the internet and find nothing positive to read about it. I want this baby back for me and for my daughter so our hearts will stop from breaking. I know I'm tired and when I get tired, I get emotional. I can't stop crying. Will it ever get better, I'm having my doubts?
We are going to go see him next Sat. to take him a *little* Easter Basket. Will it help me? Or hurt me more. I don't know what to do with my pain right now. There is a support group that the adoption agency has once a week for birth moms and their parents. I can't wait till Thursday to go but until then, I can't stand how I feel. I know I can call my daughters case worker too but she isn't going to help me during the middle of the night!I'm afraid for the first time ever to call and leave my T a voice mail about this. I don't think she has a clue! I'm afraid like a little child.
Thanks for letting me vent. I'm lost and broken.
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:818102
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/818226.html