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Re: Love as the agent of change -- kind of long red house

Posted by sunnydays on March 15, 2008, at 18:43:18

In reply to Love as the agent of change -- kind of long, posted by red house on March 15, 2008, at 10:58:21

My T has told me he loves me, and he has referred many times to the fact that I have trouble believing I am lovable. He doesn't say it very often, but he does say it when I really need to hear it. He makes it clear there are limits, and that it won't go outside the therapy boundaries, but that he does really care about me. It is scary for me to feel that caring from him, and I feel like I often get really scared he's lying when he says that. I often expect he'll one day just get fed up with me being too clingy and tell me he doesn't want to see me anymore. But the first time I told him I loved him (he admitted later he really didn't have a clue what to say, he was surprised because I'm the first one who's admitted that) and we talked more about my love for him for a while (I see him as a father figure) and then finally at the end of the appointment he said, "Well, I wasn't sure whether to say this or not, but finally I just decided to say it because that's how we've been with each other. We've always been honest with each other and it feels like it would be holding back too much if I didn't say this. I do have loving feelings for you, sunnydays, and they're not sexual or anything like that at all, more like a parent or a brother or something."

So yeah, I've had experience with that.





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