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Re: an idea raisinb

Posted by crushedout on March 7, 2008, at 22:46:30

In reply to an idea crushedout, posted by raisinb on March 7, 2008, at 13:30:12

The whole thing sounds awful to me. I can't be in a relationship with her when I feel like she might terminate me at any moment. But I also feel like I might really be done with therapy for other reasons. Like maybe this happened because it was time to move on, and this will make it easier? Maybe subconsciously she just realized that she couldn't help me, and this is her way of pushing me out the door. (I really don't think it's on a conscious level if that is what's going on.)

I feel like it might be time to invest in my "real life." I need to force myself to do it. I can comfort myself with my therapist, when everybody else lets me down, that she is consistent, that she is reliable, that she doesn't judge me. Or, at least, I *could* do this before (I'm afraid I can't feel that anymore). But I need to stop being dependent on a therapist. Maybe it will force me to find the right partner, or the right career, or whatever it is I'm looking for, because I can't just rely on her. I don't know. It just feels like maybe it's right.

I'm very tempted to cancel Monday's session, just tell her I need a break, time to think things over. Doesn't that seem reasonable?

> When I returned to my current T a few months ago, after a good deal of drama, I typed up an "agreement"--things that were guidelines we both could agree to follow--ground rules, sort of.
> One of the things on that list was, "If you begin to feel negative feelings towards me that you can't resolve within a reasonable amount of time (I suggested two weeks) I would like you to terminate the relationship immediately. On my end, I'll accept this without argument and I won't attempt to contact you again." She agreed to this and it has always made me feel better. I feel that as a client, I technically shouldn't have to explicitly ask for that commitment, but that it made me feel better to have her agree to it.
> If you do go back and repair what has happened, perhaps something of this sort would be in order?




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