Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Re: Homework Help Needed

Posted by sassyfrancesca on March 6, 2008, at 8:23:54

In reply to Homework Help Needed, posted by DAisym on March 5, 2008, at 19:47:56

> I SO resonate with what you (and the others have said.)

Unfortunately, I have been in love with my t for over five years (too long to go into here).

Unfortunately (LOL) his last comment: "If I were not married, I would probably go for it."....

Complicates our relationship.

I have really hard homework. I need cliff notes.
> The discussion today was about how hard it still is for me to hold on to the connection I have with my therapist. We talked about lots of things but I found the conversation really hard to stay with - the room was spinning and my mind kept closing down. He said this means we are touching a very deep need

he sounds very in touch with himself...and you!

- and something I'm terrified of. Yes, I understand that fear.

I talked about my fear of losing him somehow and he said I put a lot of pressure on myself with this fear, because I then critic everything I do in therapy - did I say the right thing, am I going too slow with the work, am I working hard enough? He is right.

Yes, you want to do everything "right" so he will care about you, and not leave you (fear of abandonment).

> But I defended myself by saying that the need I feel for him is so enormous that if I don't monitor it constantly it will swallow him up.

You don't have to worry about HIM being swallowed up, sweetie.

He shook his head. And then asked the homework question:

Wonderful question.

"What would it look like if I could meet your need for me?" I couldn't answer. He said, "in fantasy - would you call 1000 times a day? Would I be sitting in your office, ready to soothe any upset? What would it look like to take care of it 100%?" I still couldn't answer.

It felt scary.

I tried to explain that I can't let go of the should and should not wants, or of the reality of the "rules" of therapy.

Feelings are facts, they aren't right or wrong.

I couldn't even play with it. But still - he wants me to think about it.
> The best I could come up with was that there are times when I want to just wrap myself around his knee and cling to him all day, like a small child.

Good for you for being authentic.

He said he'd be fine with that except that it would be kind of difficult to walk to the waiting room like that. :)

He sounds wonderful.
> I was trying to write it out, but decided to procrastinate and post instead. I'm not sure if I'm looking for fantasy ideas or real ones. I'll take either. Thanks for helping.

Just write down exactly what you feel and think. That is all you can do (any of us), is to be authentic with ourselves and others....asssuming of course....they are SAFE people.

Love and are a dear.





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poster:sassyfrancesca thread:816442