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Re: Therapy today hurt me crushedout

Posted by DAisym on March 4, 2008, at 19:39:36

In reply to Re: Therapy today hurt me seldomseen, posted by crushedout on March 4, 2008, at 15:25:13

Hear me saying this as gently as possible:

Therapists are human too. They blow it sometimes.

I know that doesn't help right now, but try to hang on to all the times when she has helped you and was professional. Something triggered her about this and while she is supposed to NOT do what she did, it happens sometimes. You have every right to be upset and mad. But one of the things we are trying to learn in therapy is that relationships can with-stand ruptures. When someone lets us down, it doesn't negate everything else - at least not most of the time - it means that in this moment they screwed up.

I hope she realizes what she did, how she did it and she apologizes. I hope you let her.

Last summer my therapist lost it during one of my sessions - his anger got the better of him. He didn't yell at me but he scared the crud out of me. I went home, called up and promptly quit. He called, apologized profusely, owned his mistake and coached me back to therapy. Even though he did that, I still needed an outside consultation with another trusted therapist to help me get a handle on what had happened. The consulting therapist said, "You are so upset because he f&&ked up. He let his own feelings get in the way. But what you don't want to hear is that this is an opportunity to practice what you've been working on. Stand up for yourself, allow yourself to be hurt and angry and work it out with him. Don't run away." It was really hard - you know how much I love my therapist. I didn't want to be mad at him but I couldn't just get over it either. We talked and talked and talked about it. Trust came back, slowly, but it did come back. The foundation was there.

You have this too. I actually hope she emails you back and can own this as she should.

Hang in there. (I'm sorry to hear about your aunt too.)
Hugs,
Daisy

 

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