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Re: Jealousy is a good aphrodisiac Sigismund

Posted by Racer on March 2, 2008, at 17:44:35

In reply to Jealousy is a good aphrodisiac, posted by Sigismund on March 2, 2008, at 17:27:43

> If though I went to marriage counselling and this was raised I would feel humiliated. I would be more likely to respond well to someone who said 'I don't care if you want me or not, I want you anyway.'

Just to make this clear: I did try to address the sex issue since it became an issue. I tried the "oh, you're napping? I need a nap too. Let's just snuggle a little, too..." After the second or third time, he started napping on the sofa -- which meant that I couldn't even snuggle with him, AND that I couldn't use the living room until he was up again.

Then I tried saying something about it -- "Gee, honey -- I miss sex with you. I love you, you turn me on, and I would like to share that with you again." The only reaction that got was him telling me that I was too fat. (While I was on Effexor, and had gained weight.) I didn't bring it up again for a couple of years.

Then it was the wedge I used to get us into marriage counseling. We needed the marriage counseling for other reasons, but he swore there was nothing to be done about any of them. The sex was the only thing he was willing to concede might have some solution available to us. And now, five years later, nothing has changed in the sex department. I have consistently told him that I am interested in sex with him -- because I love him, because I find him attractive, etc.

At this point, I am finding that my desire for him has faded a great deal. I think it's something to do with the anger and the pain of rejection. It hurts to be pushed away so many times.

So, Sigi -- you wanna get together for a drink? Maybe throw back a couple of VBs? See what comes of it?

Um... Maybe that's more effective for people who actually leave the house...

Thanks for answering.




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