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Jealousy is a good aphrodisiac

Posted by Sigismund on March 2, 2008, at 17:27:43

In reply to Re: I sure hope this was a Modest Proposal (re: se Racer, posted by twinleaf on March 2, 2008, at 15:44:25

This is all very confused, but here goes......

For me the desire for sex is impossible without (an enormous amount of) psychological tenderness. Selflessness does it to me every time.
This is, I guess an idiosycratic thing, what turns people on.
I remember talking to a man who said he was turned on only by women under the age of (I forget) maybe 25 (which seemed disgusting to me, and I can be pretty strange). So different strokes for different folks. I can admire someone's looks in an erotic way, but that is a little different.

So anyway I clearly don't know what turns your husband on, Racer.
If though I went to marriage counselling and this was raised I would feel humiliated. I would be more likely to respond well to someone who said 'I don't care if you want me or not, I want you anyway.' This feels like the romantic imagination at work. Maybe I am expressing skepticism about the possiblity of our needs being met by a process of rational calculation? And yet I want my needs met. But I can't read The Happy Prince without being in tears before the end of the first page.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that people are not (should not be?) fundamentally turned on by looks. Not just young flesh, is what I mean.
I fell in love with someone through her voice.
But they are (sometimes) turned on by their partner's desire, which is why sex short of intercourse is better in theory than practice.

Of course jealousy is a pretty good aphrodisiac.

 

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poster:Sigismund thread:815743
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/815777.html